The sky's the limit.
Tonight Mark and I did something we should have been trying to do once a week or at least every 2nd and 3rd week during chemo . . . we went to a friend’s house for dinner. Food and nausea have been a problem throughout chemo, of course. Eating hasn’t been such a terrible problem, but the smells of food […]
Continue reading »Sometimes I feel like I’m running out of things to write about. Each day is marginally better now in terms of my feeling slightly less lost and fogged out of my own brain, though all the side effects continue to shift, some lessening, some worsening, some things reappearing that I keep hoping I am done with. Like night sweats. I […]
Continue reading »I went to my first “regular” yoga class tonight, and I was wiped out by ¾ through, my body would just shake with the impossibility of holding a position long enough to really benefit from it. And it’s not like any of it is actually hard. I mean, come on, I graduated from introductory to beginner level, not into some […]
Continue reading »[texted from the blackberry] My housekey is gone, along with the really cool red leather Cirque du Soleil keyring and small clock I had the house key-ringed to. What has me the most upset about that is losing the keystrap and clock thing, though I’m exhausted now from extending what was supposed to be five minutes of brief-post-cat-visit-running-one-errand with five […]
Continue reading »Everyone sends these nice little thinking-of-you notes and of course asks how I’m doing, and I never know what to say. I know people are genuinely concerned and sincerely want to know how I’m feeling, but it seems so wrong to just spout off a bunch of awful stuff when the person was just trying to be nice in asking […]
Continue reading »[started from Thursday’s Runes Journal] I’ve been up since 3:30AM, no hope for more sleep. I was thinking about the “why me” thing. There’s the positive why me that is altruistic . . .if it is me, then it’s not someone else, and I’d rather suffer than make or see anyone else suffer. Then there’s the karma perspective. Mom finally […]
Continue reading »Carsickness willing, I wanted to visit the cats today after lunch. And get things ready for them to “come home” to Mark’s house, to live in the guest bedroom at the end of the month. I’ve been rearranging the empty storage boxes and Peanut’s (Belinda’s tiny dog) gi-normous dog bed pad to make a nice window perch for the cats […]
Continue reading »Uff da, I am soooooo tired of taking so many pills all day long. One thing at a time, that’s how I can get things done, which basically means one thing in a day. I had to fill out DMV forms to make my Rubicon a non-operating vehicle today because when I stopped being able to go home I stopped […]
Continue reading »So whatever happened with Dr. Lombardi, why was he suddenly gone from Sutter Cancer Center on an unexpected Friday evening at exactly 5PM? Turns out it was administrative politics, and not the kind that increases quality of patient care. Dr. Lombardi was spending TOO MUCH time with patients, and was working long hours every day to see to it that […]
Continue reading »Monday, September 29, 2009 157 DAYS? Why is this count suddenly so seemingly ominous? I guess I’m thinking ahead to day 200 which will feel like a milestone number. To be preceded by the six-month hurdle, of course. Having a really hard time seeing, yesterday and Saturday too. I’m trying to go through the motions, but I can see why […]
Continue reading »I’m so sorry. I know there are all these people keeping up with my blog and yet I can’t seem to stay awake long enough for anything these days or be coordinated enough to think and, say, type at the same time. It’s driving me batty. I made dinner tonight (it wasn’t particularly good, though Mark complimented it), but the […]
Continue reading »Sent Mark off to milonga without me tonight. There’s just no way I’m up to the socializing and physical activity of going to do argentine tango tonight. Besides, I’m sure Mark could use more than one night off from me in a week. The weight of this thing, and how never-ending it seems even when we know the upturn has […]
Continue reading »I was so bummed to realize today how very severely limited (as I put on my granny magnifying specs to see the screen) I’m still going to be after the “official” timeframe for chemo is supposedly done. I want to just jump back into my normal of way being and of doing things and here I can’t even type a […]
Continue reading »Did NOT get the google calendar alarms worked out, tried one more fix then went to a backup on my blackberry instead, now some of the google alarms go off twice and some google alarms still do nothing which leaves my blackberry alarm to the rescue. Trying to keep up with all these meds without alarms to tell when to […]
Continue reading »Well today I’m apparently ready to go back in time because I wrote the date as 2004, weird, chemo brain, weird. Actually, I kept trying to get to my journal all day, but I just couldn’t stay awake, like, at all. Wake up to take pills, nap. Get waken up again to take pills, nap. Get waken up again to […]
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