Questions I Can’t Answer

I’ve spent a lot of time and had numerous experiences that have helped me understand the answers to two very big questions:

•   “What is Reality?” and
•   “What is Consciousness?”

[Oooooh! I just remembered another big subject in my personal growth research/study/education: Subjective Reality. Look that up and read some Steve Pavlina and more if you like thinking about this stuff.]

The questions I can’t answer are more mundane, like, why is this world the way that it is? If I am Consciousness and I truly manifest Reality, then why is reality what it is right now? Why am I living in a second coming of Hitler and a pandemic that is killing people all over the planet? Why doesn’t humanity save the planet rather than ushering in the extinction of humanity by destroying the planet for human existence? In terms of the planet as a complete living being, it seems that humans are a cancer that must be eradicated in order for the host to survive.

For a lot of people, the most fundamental question of life is “Why am I here?” or “Why do I exist?” For me there are two levels of answers, in line with how Chopra talks about there being two existences, one in form and one that is formless. I, Cynthia, exist in form to share myself with others and help them feel something positive in whatever way that is. Two simple examples are my gift of music and the inspiration people get from my book/talks about surviving cancer treatment. I try to enrich the life of every person I encounter through kindness, empathy, and generosity of self.

But in the formless existence, the question of “Why do I exist?” has a very different answer because there is no “I,” rather there is only “I Am.” For me, the answer is that I, Consciousness, chose to exist in this physical reality in order to have experiences, because even though formless Consciousness is all-knowing, you cannot truly know something until you’ve experienced it for yourself. Anyone who has been told the words “you have cancer” absolutely knows what that feels like, and a person who has not been told those words cannot possibly grasp all the emotions that fill that space. As Consciousness, I comprehend a formless existence and fully comprehend the vast concept of kindness, yet until I entered a physical reality of being Cynthia, living all that is that life, and using that life to become a kind being (I know I don’t always succeed, but I do truly try to be kind in every moment of my life/existence now), I as Consciousness cannot truly know what it is to be kind.

I have no idea if anyone understands or believes what I’m writing about Consciousness, or anything I’ve written about during my study and explorations. But the writing itself helps me to understand, which is the actual reason for doing it. I am Consciousness. You are Consciousness. We are Oneness. I Am.