My Own Experiences as Consciousness

I’m still writing about things related to the Deepak Chopra course “The Nature of Reality,” but from here on all the posts are simply my own, nothing is quoted or pulled from Chopra’s lectures.

All this stuff about Consciousness is hard to explain, but I have actually experienced it while playing the flute in a concert with Kathleen West in a big hall (the kind where sound can rise and bounce around in that big space above, formless but still real). I believe the piece we were playing was Amazing Grace, though I have definitely had similar experiences multiple times while playing Ave Maria with Kathleen’s accompaniment.

The thing is, while we were playing Amazing Grace, I, Cynthia, was physically playing my flute, but I wasn’t. While I was playing, I seemed to float out of myself, out of the being called “Cynthia.” I expanded and rose and became the music instead of the musician. The consciousness, the awareness that “I Am,” was no longer bound in the physical experience of making sound that is music. It was an experience of being music, of being sound in the void, unbound by time and space. It was infinite, but it was brief, and when the moment ended I was once again Cynthia playing Amazing Grace with my flute.

I had a much greater and more vast experience as infinite consciousness the second time I died. I have a heart condition, and it was diagnosed after I ended up in the emergency room because my heart had stopped. My cardiologist, in chastising me about absolutely not driving for six months while we made sure the medicine for my heart condition was truly working, pointed his finger at me and told me, “your heart stopped multiple times for multiple minutes; this is not something you can take lightly.”

So anyway, if you didn’t know this about me, technically I’ve already died three times from which doctors shocked my heart back into beating. That was back when I lived in San Jose, on the day after Valentine’s Day about four months after Artie died. February 15th, 2003, my heart stopped three times and doctors had to bring me back to life. I’ve written about it extensively before, so I’m not going to repeat the whole story here, just the overall summation.

The second time I died, I had the entire experience of existence from being the big bang through evolution and birth and billions of lives. I was Consciousness, and experienced the entirety of the existence of the universe before, after an infinity of experience, I finally settled into my Budda-on-the-mountaintop at the Medicine Wheel experience of being Cynthia, sitting cross-legged at the top of a mountain and physically connected to the entire planet. Writing the details of the entire experience would fill more books than can be written in a lifetime.

I agree with and believe the things Deepak Chopra talks about because I know them from firsthand experience. My sense of spirituality was not taught to me, it is based entirely in my own experiences as Consciousness.