cancer – day 40
Interesting. The number 40 is big in historical texts as a important period of time of passage, so it’s interesting that today was day #40 for me.
I called my parents today. I was nervous about the conversation we needed to have, and I actually left a voicemail for my brother right before I called them to warn him that I was going to tell Mom & Dad I’m staying in Sacramento, and I thought Mom would probably call him as soon as we got off the phone. I thought she would be upset. They were upset when I first suggested it, several weeks ago, that’s for sure. But, this was really something, we had a really nice conversation about the whole thing!
I haven’t posted my blog for a few days. I’ve been keeping my journal, but I think it’s been three days or so since I posted from there to the blog. I didn’t know what I was going to decide, and I didn’t want my family getting unnecessarily agitated by my thought process before I knew what I wanted to do. But on the phone this evening my dad said he already knew what I had decided, from reading my blog. I guess that makes sense. I mean, they have known me for over 30 years, I suppose having the info through Saturday or Sunday’s blog would be enough for them to figure out what I was going to decide before I did. Ironic, it took me days longer than my dad to figure out what I was going to do.
Apparently lots of people, specifically, people who have actually had chemotherapy I guess, have been talking with my mom about what it’s like, and telling her that even though there are times in the cycle when I’ll be really sick for a few days at a time or whatever, there will be these recovery periods, at least the third week of each cycle (which is when I’m planning to work my regular job stuff throughout chemo) I would be really bored in Yankton away from all my friends and my normal activities. And lots of people seem to have been telling my parents that it would be better for me to stay closer to my own life rather than leaving it for six months.
And of course, if things don’t work out or I need more care or whatever, I can always go home to them then. Any time.
All in all, I have to say I think I have pretty much the best parents on the planet. 🙂