cancer – day 151

Wow, I think that was the most I’ve ever written on a chemo day. Surprised I stayed awake that long. Today’s ambition was to tell more about the decision to go with the substitute medical oncologist lung specialist, we’ll see how much energy I have to tell the story. My first reaction, after finding absolutely zero research about the guy having ever published or accomplished anything, was to think I’d should just restart the research I did to find Lombardi and find a new doctor. But you, know, in my state, that’s just not really feasible. I researched enough to figure out that the only other doctor I’d want to go to at their practice was Stacy D’Amico, but her specialty isn’t any more relevant to breast cancer than the other guy, so basically I was left with the same option, go in and see a sub or potentially take matters completely and non-intelligently into my own hands and just not show up, quit on them and quit on my own chemo. Well, you know I wasn’t going to do that.

So some mental restructuring was due. And when you think about it, really, at the stage we were, did it really matter if the medical oncologist were a breast specialist or any other kind of oncologist familiarity with the side effects of chemotherapy? I’d already lost out on the best possible medical oncologist possible, so now we were looking for a tolerable second place, that’s all. I had had Lombardi for the ultra important aspect of my treatment to date, which was getting the oncotype dx to know how much chemo I needed.

I was still incredibly disappointed in the whole situation and losing one of the best doctors I’ve EVER had to what appears to be administrative politics and apalled by how it was handled, and in a different non-chemo-brain mental state I would probably have more gumption to write a letter or something to that effect, but gosh, right now I can barely keep my eyes open and my chin upright. Time for more sleep.