cancer – day 15

Wow, what a painful day. My stitches both hurt and itch, my entire right breast is yellow with bruising, and my left side is getting strained from overuse compensating for my right. I tried to only take Tylenol so my mind would be clear for the Argentine workshops today, but it just hurt too much. Then in the workshops, well, trying to focus and learn and dance was not easy this afternoon.

We went back to Mark’s a while and I rested a little and we had dinner, he picked up Rusty at the airport, and then we went back for the milonga. I only danced the first two tandas with Mark, then later a tanda with Zach (my first tango partner), and at the end of the night another tanda with Mark. My body was just done in from the workshops, and I knew there were more workshops the next day, plus my parents coming in, so I knew I shouldn’t push it at the milonga.

And even without us really using my right arm much at all, my dancing with Mark just keeps getting more and more connected, and ever easier to slip into that state of shared consciousness with him. And oy vey, words cannot describe how close and personal it is to feel that kind of connection with someone, that shared energy. That’s where the real sensuality of tango exists for me. Not in steps and moves, but in moving with him. Even with Argentine English, Oscar describes it best: “one heart, four legs, one body.”