cancer – day 14

Hmmm, long day, didn’t sleep enough again, spent the morning at the hospital getting poked & not really any new info for surgical “pre-op.” I’m getting jumpy from lack of sleep, I think I’ve only had 2-3 hours sleep a night since last weekend. So, maybe 10 hours in the last 4-5 nights. No wonder I’m getting short tempered. I did manage to fall asleep for a nap this afternoon, but then Mark started working on some plumbing and the sounds woke me up. It bites being a light sleeper, every little thing wakes you up and it’s so hard to fall asleep. Sheesh, am I tired.

Meanwhile, I’m really stressed about getting my work for Chain organized for me to be gone a week, yet I can’t seem to focus on it well either. Guess I can blame that on stress too? What I really need to do is at least find out about short-term disability or how I’m supposed to take this time off.

I have the evening with Mark, but it sounds like we’re going to be running errands for him to set up his new house and maybe not really doing any “together” stuff. Tomorrow and Sunday Oscar & Georgina are doing workshops at TBTR that Mark is required to go to and I am planning on too, though I don’t know if I’ll be able to dance by then. My right side especially is still hurting quite a bit from the last biopsy. So, not much of a weekend for Mark and I to spend any real time together. My parents arrive Sunday. Surgery is Tuesday. So, I guess no real Mark time again until after Mom & Dad leave. Wonder when that will be? Couple/few weeks. Then a little time alone before going out to SD for chemo. Then no more Mark. I’m kinda sad about that, I don’t expect him to still be thinking of me after I’ve been gone three or six months.

Sheesh, I have GOT to get a new attitude before I ruin this weekend for myself!