Newspaper Article – Flutist Uses Music To Fight Effects Of Cancer
BY RANDY DOCKENDORF
Flutist Cynthia (Miller) Swan and pianist Kathleen West, along with organist Marilyn Nyberg, are performing Thursdayâs âBachâs Lunchâ concert at Trinity Lutheran Church. A former professional dancer, Swan has survived breast cancer, but her treatment has left her hands and feet with an intense burning sensation. (COURTESY PHOTO)
Flutist Cynthia (Miller) Swan and pianist Kathleen West, along with organist Marilyn Nyberg, are performing Thursdayâs âBachâs Lunchâ concert at Trinity Lutheran Church. A former professional dancer, Swan has survived breast cancer, but her treatment has left her hands and feet with an intense burning sensation. (COURTESY PHOTO)
Published: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 1:06 AM CST
For Cynthia Swan, this week’s concert in Yankton will prove agonizing.
Swan formerly worked as a professional ballroom dancer and instructor. Dancing was her passion, a major part of her life.
“I particularly enjoyed Argentine tango competitions and shows,” she said. “I was a consultant in California and worked with the coaches and teachers on (the network show) ‘Dancing With The Stars.’”
Now, the woman who showed tremendous grace and strength can barely hold the flute that she still plays.
Swan will perform on her flute, accompanied by organist Marilyn Nyberg and pianist Kathleen West, during Thursday’s “Bach’s Lunch” series at Trinity Lutheran Church. The 12:15 p.m. free concert will be held in the church sanctuary at 403 Broadway Avenue.
The music may sound beautiful, but the concert will bring excruciating pain for Swan.
She underwent chemotherapy and radiation in 2009 for breast cancer. The treatment led to neuropathy, an intense, constant burning sensation in her hands and feet.
“This half-hour (concert) will be all that I can stand, because it hurts so much to hold my flute,” she said. “At home, I play a half-hour at a time, twice a day. I practice for a short time and then need to rest before I can practice again. There is no easy way to control the pain.”
Swan uses an analogy to help others understand her pain.
“I explain that it is like, after frying bacon in a sizzling hot frying pan, press your hand down hard into the pan and leave it there,” she said. “I have tried everything — medications, creams, salve pads, herbs and diet, and other alternative therapies. I have even tried meditation for pain control.”
Because of her neuropathy, she cannot stand and must sit during Thursday’s concert. She will remain barefoot, wearing a long dress to conceal her feet. She will walk on her heels when she moves from the balcony to the front of the church for the second part of her performance.
Swan, 36, lives in California but has stayed with her parents, Mike and Helen Miller of Yankton, for much of the year during her cancer recovery. Swan plays prelude music and special pieces at Trinity Lutheran about once a month.
She is also producing a compact disc of her music, entitled “My Gift,” that she is giving away free. Yankton High School music teacher Todd Carr is editing the CD.
“It’s my gift, in every sense of the word. I have been involved with music all of my life,” she said. “The ability to play at all, it’s an amazing gift to have. It’s the gift I have to give.”
Swan attended the University of Minnesota-Duluth and North Dakota State University for her undergraduate and graduate degrees in music and business. While at UMD, she took voice lessons, sang at Carnegie Hall and toured Europe for six weeks. She also played in the Duluth symphony orchestra, and she played piccolo with jazz bands in clubs.
“I picked up dancing as a fluke. I took a few lessons, and I was a natural teacher,” she said. “I attended an Arthur Murray Dance Academy, and I was certified as a top level, or gold, instructor.”
She found a particular passion for the Argentine tango, even attending tango events in Buenos Aires.
Not surprisingly, she entitled her first book, “My Tango With Cancer: A Dancer’s Journey of Breast Cancer Survival and Growth.”
Besides her work as an author, Swan has founded the business Cielem’el — Latin for “The Sky’s The Limit” — and website www.cielemel.com.
“I travel throughout North America, speaking with a variety of groups about survival through inspiration, rather than desperation, when facing severe adversity, challenges and life trials,” she said.
She speaks primarily before cancer support groups. The work has proved mutually beneficial, providing her a major boost in her own life journey since her breast cancer diagnosis in 2009.
“I was 32 years old at the time, which was really young for breast cancer, or for any kind of cancer,” she said. “I had two tumors, one was Stage 2 and the other was Stage 3. We went for the lumpectomy rather than the mastectomy.”
In 2009, she underwent seven surgeries, including six biopsies, to remove the tumors. She underwent chemotherapy treatments from July through October 2009, followed by daily radiation completed just before Christmas of that year.
Swan decided to remain in California for her treatments, near her Sacramento doctor while staying with a friend who became a caregiver.
The chemo treatments left Swan extremely ill. She maintained a medication calendar listing the foods she ate and the side effects.
“I had every side effect known to chemo,” she said. “I lost my vision for a while. I couldn’t read a computer screen even if I bumped it up to 150 percent, and I loved to read books so I got audio books on CDs.”
“My esophagus burned, and I didn’t want to eat. It was like a submarine was dropping bombs down my throat. The chemo was destroying my body in the process of killing (the cancer) cells.”
Swan and her doctor discussed whether the severe side effects outweighed any benefits from continuing the chemo.
“But if I didn’t finish the treatments, I faced the possibility of a (cancer) recurrence,” she said. “I decided to finish the chemo and deal with the ongoing pain.”
Swan adopted the motto, “It is what it is,” as the new starting point in her life. But she greatly misses her dancing because of the pain.
“The very thing that I love the most is also the thing that causes me the most pain,” she said. “The thing I love causes so much pain that I can’t love it anymore.”
During her treatment in California, Swan attended “milonga” (Argentine tango) dance parties. She socialized and remained in contact with others sharing her passion for the tango.
“I didn’t know how much longer I could continue attending (the milongas), as the pain got worse and worse,” she said. “But it let me stay closer to people who loved to dance and talk. These people were as close as family. I couldn’t see, read or touch, but I was determined not to give it up.”
The cancer treatment wasn’t the only major pain in Swan’s life, as her boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle accident. She includes him in her book’s dedication.
The stress of both major life events complicated her health issues, but she moved forward. She is completing the third of her five-year regimen on the drug Tamoxifen.
“They talked about me undergoing spinal surgery (to relieve my pain), but there is only a 50 percent chance of success,” she said. “It’s just not worth the risk.”
Swan has focused on her business interests, including her public speaking.
“I like the smaller, intimate groups because I can have eye contact and interaction with them,” she said. “If someone nods at something, I ask if they share the same experience. We go (with the conversation) where it needs to go. People are scared and confused. We are there to support each other.”
Swan also writes a blog, which she keeps upbeat for others to read, and a private journal only for herself that reveals her inner struggles.
“I don’t put (my pain) out there for others to read because it’s too negative and I don’t want to bring people down,” she said.
She is also working on her second book, “Wigging Out,” which plays off the 13 different wigs she wore during chemo. She takes a lighter approach with the book.
“A year ago, I was having a bad day. I would wake up every two hours because of the pain,” she said. “I decided it was going to be a light day, and I wore a neon pink wig. People looked me in the eye and smiled.”
Thursday’s “Bach’s Lunch” concert will mark one of Swan’s last activities in Yankton.
“As soon as Christmas is over, I am returning to California,” she said. “I have to leave (South Dakota) from January through March because the cold weather is too much for me to handle (with my physical condition).
However, she first wants to provide a special Christmas gift with her upcoming concert.
“My music isn’t my vocation, it’s my avocation,” she said. “The flute is my gift, and I put my music out there to other persons. The only thing I have to give is myself.”
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You can follow Randy Dockendorf on Twitter at twitter.com/RDockendorf.