cancer – day 113

I had been complaining to Mark for a while about my eyesight getting worse and worse, almost since the first chemo day, now that I think about it. I finally gave in and changed both my laptops (one of which is also connected to a 21” external monitor, which you would THINK makes the fonts large enough for even someone with somewhat debilitated eyesight to see) to first 125% and then 150% greater font sizes in order to be able to read what was on the screen. It was so frustrating those last few days trying to work for chain, and this week my eyesight finally got bad enough that I wouldn’t dare drive a car.

I asked Dr. Lombardi about it on Monday before my chemo session and he said that they’ve heard that from other patients on the taxotere, it’s a known side effect. He also said that my eyesight should return to the level it was at prior to chemo within a few months of completing chemo. Which of course does me no good whatsoever right now except as a bit of peace of mind that I’m not going blind (at least not for good). He said I could consider getting a temporary eyeglass prescription if it really seemed necessary, and that I probably wouldn’t need it anymore after about the time I finish radiation.

Around about this time I’m also noticing that I’ve been complaining almost constantly of headaches for over a week, and that taking ibuprofen wasn’t helping with the headaches much. Mark and I finally decided that it would be worth a trip to the eye doctor to get my eyes checked out to at least make sure my eyes are still healthy, and to see how badly my current vision may be from what it was just a few months ago when I got new glasses. So we went in, and lo and behold my vision has drastically changed for the worse, so I got new contact lenses. My actual eye health, however, was wonderful. So now I have these super-power contact lenses (it’s hard to wear my glasses with the wigs anyway, so I do pretty much go through the effort of putting in contacts every day. I wonder how hard that will be to do if I lose all my eyelash hairs too? Wild. I’m sure there’s a way though! And, joy of joys, I can see my computer screens again, so I can go on facebook to see how my friends are doing and I can read again without giving myself a splitting headache. Leave it to science to develop a MEDICINE that basically destroys your body in the process of hopefully saving your life.

Lombardi did say that there is a known correlation of the intensity of side effects being greater in women 36 and younger. In general I have to admit I’d rather be a common statistic than an anomaly, but ugh, I have yet to hear of any perks to getting breast cancer in your mid-thirties. Everything’s more severe, everything’s more aggressive.

I need more sleep.