cancer – day 155

Sent Mark off to milonga without me tonight. There’s just no way I’m up to the socializing and physical activity of going to do argentine tango tonight. Besides, I’m sure Mark could use more than one night off from me in a week. The weight of this thing, and how never-ending it seems even when we know the upturn has to be just around the corner, somewhere, some gradual improvement, infinitesimally even, is so hard to wait for, well, it’s hard to bear. Depressing for me, and I can be easy to be around right now. Mark bears it terribly well though, except when he has his little bursts of wanting more free time to himself.

You know, I would love to write more, we actually had a nice couple of hours this afternoon taking about the plants outside and how to care of them and stuff which is all stuff Mark is interested in and I know little about, but the constant red of the spellchecker is telling me it’s going to take quite a while just to get this little section in order. Uff da.

BTW, enemas suck, give you cramps long after you think it’s over. Better to put up with the constipation blockage pain when it finally comes. Just a brief little note for my cohorts in crime reading this for content of what they may have to deal with in cancer treatment.