cancer – day 52
This is neat, we found a “widget” tool to add to my blog so that if I’m online people can instant message me from my blog site, how cool is that? I don’t want to clutter up my blog page with lots of junk, but that one was fun to find and add on. Now people who are reading my blog when I happen to be online can instant message me from my blog page, that’s neat!
Today was challenging because I miss my cats and my house and my stuff. After I’ve been in Sac four or five days (or longer), I start to feel like I’ve left an awful lot of myself behind, living out of a suitcase as it were. It will be different now though, going in to treatment. I’ve gotten some stuff for the office so I feel like there’s a little space that’s “mine” (at least I feel like that when I’m working at the desk I bought, I still feel like the office room is Rusty’s though). And I like the idea of being within earshot/line-of-sight to Mark across the back of the house when I’m in treatment but also trying to work. If anything happened (the big worry being my heart condition if I have to do chemo and stop my heart medicine during that time), he would know right away. So things are getting more settled for me at Mark’s, but this week, now that I’m strong enough to lift things into Rubi, I need to box up some clothes to keep at Mark’s for the summer. I’ll take that stuff, and my steam cleaner for the carpets, down on Wednesday.
In the meantime, I am really relieved to be home tonight, and all day and evening tomorrow. Driving home, I was sooooooo tired from lack of sleep (last night was particularly sleepless, I spent most of the night in front of the computer and finally slept some between 5AM and 7AM). And all day I’d been stressed somehow, wishing I were home instead of in Sac. So when I finally got through Placerville where the landscape starts looking like home, I stopped just past the river to do a little trail walk and clear my head a little. I should have done that this morning down in Sac instead of trying to work through, a walk would probably have done me a lot of good just ot get me out of the office for twenty minutes. But anyway, after the walk down by Placerville, the rest of the drive home was more relaxed, and of course now that I’m finally really winding down, having been home a couple hours and getting ready to have dinner and do nothing for an hour or so before going to bed early, I’m definitely finally feeling the lack-of-sleep tension easing.
Of course, when I got home, I realized I had apparently left some tax files on my desk (CA finally caught up with the IRS and nailed me with additional assessments for both 2004 and 2005) and Seoul, who thinks every little thing that moves or can be moved with a paw is a toy, she was probably the primary hurricane that swept through my office. Papers everywhere!!! Thank goodness only the 2005 file was out, I didn’t bother to reorganize, I just stuffed it all rather randomly back in the file folders and packed them up in the tax records box, safe from kittens’ playful paws!